Did U Know There is Blood Test For Detecting Love ?

Hormones Produce Love

Our brain generate love using the same mechanism by which it seeks out other rewards, such as food, drink, shelter, drugs, video, games, perhaps love is not as closely linked to addiction as one might think. Love is constructed by several brain regions. The tegmentum is fired up by attractiveness and indeed, stalking behavior may result from over activity of reward-seeking pathway, but thinking about love activates other brain regions-the caudate nucleus and ‘fusiform’ and ‘angular’ gyri(ridges) of the cortex. Love is after all a many splendored thing, so it should come as no surprise that several different parts of the brain are needed to produce it.

Did you know that there are two hormones which produce love?

Oxytocin and arginine vasopressin are the ‘hormones of love in humans’. We certainly secrete both of them: oxytocin causes uterine contraction during birth and ejection of breast milk during suckling, while arginine vasopressin makes us produce concentrated urine. These chemicals play an important role in ‘love ‘related phenomena. When Oxytocin is sniffed into nose, it produces trust. Arginine Vasopressin is involved in inter-male aggression and male sexual arousal, also a surge of oxytocin is released to orgasm in both sexes, lasting up to 30 minutes. Within the brain, these chemicals could promote a feeling of ‘attachment ‘to others, and may create emotional bond that forms between parents and children’s, as well as between lovers. The transmitters  dopamine and serotonin are probably involved in the mechanism underlying mood, so it is no surprise  their level also change when we fall in love-the former increasing and the latter decreasing .This alter the activities of cerebral cortex, perhaps causing the cognitive alteration often described subjectively as ‘losing one’s senses’. Along with oxytocin and arginine vasopressin data, this suggests that love involves pervasive re-balancing of neurotransmitter in brain. All this help to draw two people together, establish them as a intensely attractive in each other’s eyes, suppress their inhibition and alter their cognition and judgement. The multi-chemical nature of love also means that we should be cautious about how we play with people’s brain chemistry. The selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors commonly used to treat depression alter levels of not only serotonin, but also dopamine, oxytocin and arginine vasopressin.

Till date we know that there are various blood test for detecting diseases but now there are even blood test to detect Love disease .Nerve growth factor is a protein involved in the formation and maintenance of nervous system .Level of nerve growth factor in the blood increase when people fall in love, and rather sweetly the increase correlates with the reported intensity of their romantic feeling. This does not mean that increased amounts of nerve growth factor ‘cause ‘the love, as love could just easily be causing the increase in nerve growth factor. But this increased level of chemicals invariably decline after a year or two. This suggest that there is cerebral cut-off which limits the initial surge of romance, just as  the adolescent tendency for intense infatuation lasts only two to three years. So when you fall into Love and you face problem in your love life ,breakup with your partner , then don’t feel guilty about this fact and blame yourself that why did u meet the latter and why did u fall in love with latter , because once you start feeling guilty about yourself then you experience all negative vibes in life and ultimately go into depression so the best way is to think positively and think that it was not your fault , it is a human phenomena , the function of your hormones which creates feeling of “love” and emotional factor which leads to breakup , “breakup” never takes place from one side there is some kind of misunderstanding from both the partners.Thus there is no point of lamenting over and feeling guilty about it when you where not only the person who was involved i it but both of the couples where involved in “Love “and “breakup”.

Teenage Romance

Intensity of Teenage Romance

The defining feature of adolescent romantic relationship ids intensity  .There is a period of three years during adolescence when romantic attachment are often so intense that they are described physically painful. After this period of infatuation the drive to be with targets of one’s amorous desire is still strong .Novelty is the another feature of teenage romantic relationship .You have little experience of love hen you are a teenagers and it can feel delightfully and frighteningly unfamiliar .Romantic Love is entirely outside a teenagers experience, at least the first time because this is one form of social interaction for which platonic friendship do not prepare us.

One question that arises in Readers Mind is, How Secure and Supported Teenagers feel in their romantic Relationships and how they view their friendship?

Maybe friendship and love are simply very different Things and this presumably explains the strong emotional jarring often reported  when a previously platonic friendship  metamorphoses into a romantic one .Surprisingly there is one prior relationship  with our parents :teenagers feeling of security in matters romantic correlate well with how much they  say they are supported by their parents , so this is one of the reason  for parents to try and maintain good relation with teenage children, even when there does not seem to be much reciprocation .

LOVE is tough; it has difficult, painful aspects that can hit inexperienced, vulnerable teenagers hard. The first reason for this is that ‘love’ consumes us and drive us ‘mad ‘or in more scientific terms it subverts our cognitive fuctions.Teenagers sleep less when they are in Love, although they may wake more rested and feel more alert during day, they find it harder to concentrate, certain teenagers develop erroneous convictions that another person loves them _a state that in adults are considered abnormal:’emotional’. Indeed teenage love has even been claimed to resent a state of disordered mood and thought only slightly removed from mental illness. As well as neglecting other aspects of life, the urge for romantic fulfilment can cause all sorts of problem, including unpremeditated infidelity and acquisition of sexually transmitted disease. The thought-altering effects of love are also what make it pleasurable-it is matter of letting yourself go, and falling helplessly into a new mental state.

Another Complication in love is jealousy, romantic love  almost always involves an element of protectiveness  about ones partner, even if it is never articulated, in this racy, fluid teenage world, sexual jealousy often builds to a point where it cause conflict between partners. Teenagers are simply very attractive to each other, so most teenage relationship is continually beset by the predatory interest of others. This is worsened by the widely reported tendency of humans in romantic relationship to retain some interest in the attractiveness and availability of others. In fact jealousy is such an established part of adolescent romantic life that many teenagers report that they worry if their parents are never jealous.

Teenage romantic activities can have direct effect on mental well-being. Just as the first flush of infatuation can be intensely felt, the end of adolescent love affair can be a shattering experience; lost love can trigger clinical anxiety and depression, probably because it is often leads to a period of intense introspection. Most of us find it very difficult to explain the end of a romantic relationship, even when we are the partners who have actively caused split .In the absence of clear reasons for breaking up, many teenagers can direct the blame inwards, assuming the relationship failed because of some intrinsic defect in themselves. Self blame can destroy a teenager’s fragile self-esteem-a – well-trodden path of depression. Many teenagers also respond by learning to tolerate subsequent relationships which, while superficially providing the frame work of a long-term romantic pair-bond, are inherently destructive or abusive and serve only to perpetuate low expectations of how they deserve to be treated.

So what is love?

Is it a feeling , an ambition, a commitment, an internal personal struggle , a social contract or is it a human’ way of coping with the realization of death: that only love makes it possible to temporarily forget the terrible fact of our own morality .But I wonder what is teenage love ? Adolescence is the time we first discoverable all have an uncontrollable drive to seek the affection of strangers. Unlike most drives, which can be satisfied by the acquisition of some goal, be it food, comfort or sex, the drive to love is uniquely unsatisfied , love is an unquenchable thirst-it is the only drive that cannot be calmed by possession of its target, You cannot ‘possess ‘ another person, because they remain an autonomous ,independent ,unpredictable being. Romantic Relationships are often an emotional pendulum swinging between a warm togetherness which can become oppressive, and a refreshing separateness which can become lonely. Love cannot be satisfied because a loved one cannot be fully ‘acquired’. If something is worth having, then it probably cannot truly have. So if love is this tremendous productive –destructive mental force built into teenagers, what are the biological processes which generate it?

LOVEOLOGY

LOVE
The word love is defined as subjective, intangible, and indefinable, perhaps love is too vague and by few it is defined in terms of drier concepts, such as reward, sexual attraction, mate choice or parental cooperation. Love is not invented by nature in an act of charity to the human race. Well the subjective feeling of love was evolved to bring sexual partners together and keep them together. long term maintenance of sexual partnership occurs in every vertebrate species, and thus a term used to define this is “pair-bonding ‘.Pair-Bonding is not simply a drive for continual sexual activity, instead it is thought that pair-bonding is mating strategy that encourages parental cooperation to raise successful offspring .pair-bonded species tend to produce immature offspring’s that need a lot of care. Pair-bonding species are often social, and pair-bonding may be especially conductive to social development of offspring’s. What is Romantic love?
Romantic love is a mechanism that helps human raise slow growing, socially blooming children’s ,now this is one reason  why  a person does  not fall in love before becoming fertile, there is no need for romantic love before puberty . Before puberty, children experiment sexually and they also toy with the idea of romantic infatuation. As soon as teenagers become aware of the phenomena, they realize there is an uneasy inconsistency between them which society often does not want them to investigate .Love and sex is not the same but they do overlap more during the teenage years than in adulthood. During adolescence they learn the difference between sex and love .the realization for sex and love comes sooner in boys than in girls .Teenage boys learns to get the fixes of love and sex by interacting with their partners in different ways like looking at their partners body to derive sexual pleasure and then looking at their face to experience the feeling of love. Male sexual and romantic behaviour often continues in this alternating body/face manner throughout life, and you can tell that this is even one of the reason means alarming ability to separate love and sex. humans are unpredictable creatures, similarly girls  learn to enjoy and toy with discrepancies between sex and love albeit in a more subtle way .For example  they sometimes initiate romantic contact wishing to enter a loving mental communion and at other times they wish to be used as a physical  sexual target by their partner.
Thus we can observe that teenagers face the daunting challenge of developing their sense of romantic etiquette which comprises of powerful mix of devotion, coercion, acceptance, shyness, pleasure, fear and humour. Thus facing opposite Interaction in teenage years are very common phenomena. But this topic of Love does not end here, Love is a felling which is unlimited ,it makes possible to temporarily forget the terrible facts of our own morality and thus a question to everyone” Is the love faced By TEENAGERS AND ADULTS ARE DIFFERENT “?
Well we will find answer to this question in latter articles .SO keep in touch with this site and enjoy reading.

Y Teenagers are more attached to Friends Than Parents

Teenage Friendship

  Girls, who develop their mental abilities more quickly, may therefore find their aspirations frustrated throughout their adolescent years. Maybe this explains why teenage girls often emotionally distance themselves from their parents more actively than boys do. At the same time that teenagers are rejecting their parents they are also undergoing a second profound social upheaval; they are becoming more attached to their friends .The Human habit of seeking out others of similar age(and usually sex ) for protracted discussion and rumination is unique. Indeed, many teenagers report that they are happiest when chatting to their friends. Also many of the misdemeanours perpetrated by teenagers are explained as a result of peer pressure .Indeed, many teenagers say that their friend is someone who will support them in times of need.

Another possibility of teenage friendships is that they are learning experience. Thus adolescent friendship could be viewed as a way to practice social skills in a relatively risk-free environment. Nest theory of Teenage friendship is that it supports our sense of self. By engaging with other teenagers, we learn that society accepts us, even validates us, and that as a result we have some social value. As we know that how self –esteem is enormously important to normal psychological development and that having a place in a group of friends-a sense that one is, to some extent, irreplaceable-is crucial in developing self-esteem. Having a nucleus of good friends has been strongly linked to happiness, and some psychologists have even suggested that there is an optimum number of friends for teenage mental health. Friendship is central to teenage development and the urge to avoid loneliness is incredibly strong. Teenagare’s value the triad of reciprocal to the social learning and self –esteem so much that studies show that they instinctively evaluate  other teenagers for the three corresponding outward signs of common interests, mutual understanding and positive communication.

Appearance is important to them, and one way they register their social position is by fashion. Obviously teenagers select their clothing and accessories to make themselves look attractive to competitors and suitors, but there is much more to it than that. After all, teenage girls do not all wear “cute” clothes and teenage boys do not all wear “macho” ones. Instead they choose clothes they think say something about themselves, be it their membership of a social group, their ability to keep up with the times, or some selected aspect of their individuality. One example of this is piercings, a form of self-mutilation presumably intended to convey a certain social spikiness, as well as a refusal to conform. Another is the enduring appeal of the Coth,a fashion for dark clothes ,pale skin and striking makeup that has lasted , with a few changes in terminology, for a quarter  of a century-a veritable eternity in the world of teenage fashion.

The formation of gangs is often viewed a s a more alarming aspect of the adolescent drive for inclusion in peer groups. Yet aggregating into exclusive social groups is an almost unavoidable part of growing up. As an adult it is easy to ignore the fact that for much of the time, there simply is not very much for teenagers to do with their leisure time. Groups of teenagers have to hang around on street corners and in parks: they are drawn to be with their friends, they are barred from places where alcohol is served, and the last place they want to be is in the parental home. After all, that would be too much like children going round to each others houses’ to play”. Similar trend is seen in the fragmented and slightly marginal groups of Juveniles who mope around the periphery of many primate communities. But we can’t deny the fact that humans operate in social groups, and sometimes they do the wrong things. Unfortunately ,when the world outside becomes a dangerous place, we often react by becoming ever more dependent on our social group for protection-in the process becoming more susceptible to being part of the mob.

Central importance to Teenage friendship, it can be very different phenomenon in girls and boys..On average girls are much more open with their friends, and share more intimate details of their own emotions  and biology than boys, as their friends know so many of their embarrassing secrets, trust often becomes extremely important in female teenage friendships. Loss of friends can be a stressful and frightening experience for a girl, and is often viewed as a betrayal. Conversely boys seem less open and emotional with their friends, and their conversations often focus on shared interests, such as sports, music, or the more superficial aspects of female attractiveness. After all friendship is all about getting inside other peoples head and letting them inside yours, and just because boys do this more  obliquely than girls does not  mean  that their feelings are any less strong  or warm. Well friends can also be the major cause of anxiety for teenagers. Lack of friends can be devastating, leading to anxiety, low –esteem and depression. Also as breaking up with friends can be a bitter blow, and especially worrying for girls. The phenomena of loss and loneliness affect teenagers so badly because they often see them as reflections upon themselves-implying that they cannot acquire or retain friends because there is something wrong with them. Adults who have more of a “track records” of good friends in the past, can view upheavals in their friendship with a  ore related attitude.

Another social upheaval which teenagers must deal and that is competitiveness. Human teenage hierarchies are fluid, with individuals clambering their way up and slipping down, and they are also divisive, because teenagers compete with friends and non-friends alike. Friends can tacitly ”negotiate” some sort of rapprochement whereby they stop competing directly, but even this is illusory, as two friends usually still have to stake their claims to places in same hierarchy. Even adults have dominance hierarchies too, but as they are more long-standing, and the individuals in them are undergoing less physical, mental and social flux, they tend to be more stable-less clambering and slipping means less anxiety. Boy become more overly competitive in their early teenage years ,and initially their status depends on physical strength and skills, and to some extend their social skills and looks .moving up and down the hierarchy depends on clear-cut  episodes of success or failures in various physical activities. High status does not necessarily require leadership abilities, and often it is boys slightly lower down pecking order who takes the initiative. Boys intelligence appears to have little effect on their position in their hierarchy .Girls are complex, implicit and stressful hierarchies. Girls assert their status by criticism and ridicule and shunning targeted individuals.

Well I would say that Humans certainly look different from each other, so its obvious that we are mentally, emotionally, and socially different too. Celebrating diversity is all very good, but it is the teenagers who face the awful task of working out where they fit into the sea of human social variations. 

Y 2 Worry???

Why Everyone Worries?

Everyone worries , even the teenagers , and the thing that worries them most is their relationship with other people .Their newly elevated level of consciousness and social self awareness means that there are more potential mistakes to worry about making .so once teenagers have established a coherent relationship with themselves and the world around them ,they face the greatest challenge of all-to develop relationships with other people .According to research one-fifth of teenagers may show signs of extreme anxiety-phobias of social situations, agoraphobia, panic attacks , fear of situation that involve scrutiny by others. Social worries usually also feed into a diminishing sense of self –esteem. Some teenagers especially girls, resort to self-harm-cutting, poisoning- to help them gain some sort of control over their emotions, and perhaps one in twenty of these will attempt suicide. There are also clear links between anxiety and other mental illness, including depression and schizophrenia.

From the social point of view, being anxious about other people is eminently sensible-we all have to consider how others see us, and also bear in mind that some people may be out to get the better of us. Anxiety can obviously be useful, but why does it sometimes get out of hand in teenagers? The reason to this question is due to stress .Stress in teenagers is often due to their social relationship, stress can also be caused by non-social cues. This type of stress stimulates the risk of bodily harm, pain, or the presence of predators, than it is to stimulate a socially embarrassing situation. These bodily effects of stress can be the most inexpicable, uncontrollable and frightening reactions to cope with. Stress and anxiety cause the release of noradrenalin and adrenaline throughout the body, either from nerve ending or the adrenal glands, they cause the symptoms of panic, which may become so severe that people worry that they are having heart attack. Anxiety is a crucial protective response, teenagers brains are wired up to learn to respond to new worrying situations. The simplest example of this is phobias, in which children’s start to associate extreme fear with something like spiders or enclosed spaces. Later on just the suggestion of an arachind or a small room can trigger the full dry mouth, pounding heart stress experience. Panic attacks are an especially dramatic example of learned stress responses. Teenagers are always learning responses to things in the outside world, and this drive to learn comes to dominate their psychology. Stressful early life has been shown to be linked to increased anxiety responses in early life. We start to learn stress responses to all sorts of things during our adolescent years, sometimes becoming increasingly anxious when we meet someone of opposite sex, or when we fall behind in our work, or when we sense social embarrassment.                      

The first great teenage social upheaval is their relationship with their parent’s changes. During the early teenage years parents change from being the central force in our lives to being far more peripheral. The most basic ,genetic explanation for this-separation from parents prevents incest when offspring reach puberty, teenagers do not just ‘drift away’, but undergo an active process of rejection of their  parents which is probably essential for their development as individuals. They become naturally defensive, aggressive and often downright unpleasant in their dealings with their parents-as do many other javelin primates ;)

Thus worries are part of life , and it increases when we think unnecessary things a lot , and think about something which is not possible to take place in real life and take things very seriously , when we start taking every small things seriously  we think a lot and get worried and when it does not happen in reality we become aggressive and impulsive , thus it’s better to accept things the ay it comes in your life and think limited , the more you think , more aggressive you become and spoil each and every  moment of life , so the best way to keep your mind free of tension is to stay calm , not think about what is gone , live in present  and keep smiling even if you have lost something .laughing brings positive energy in your life .

Confusion

TEENAGERS ARE CONFUSED 

Teenagers become confused due to schizophrenia which usually stars during adolescence. Confusion comes in many forms, anyone can become confused when something does not make sense and this “something that does not make sense “mainly happens in teenagers, as they go through many phases of life when the life does not seem to make sense-when we feel that we are missing something or here are some secrets t which we are not privy. Secondly when a mind completely loses touch with the reality known as “psychosis” we feel that we are confused .the four phenomena –transient confusion, schizophrenia, psychosis (life confusion) are points on a continuous spectrum of confusion, these confusion are mainly faced by teenagers, as teenagers brain are going through various thought it is difficult for a teenager to decide which kin of confusion they are facing.

Schizophrenia a distinctive set of psychological disorder starts at the age of 13 &18.it is this stage of confusion when human brain becomes complex and  and  teenagers bears this burnt .schizophrenia helps us to understand how a human  mind works .people suffering from schizophrenia do not understand where their own chaotic thoughts processes come  from, they lose their ability to enjoy things, they conversation becomes limited ,they become socially withdrawn, emotionally unresponsive and unmotivated, they  lose the ability to plan. They become incomprehensible to people around them. Not all teenagers face schizophrenia, but most of them go through this stage, this is the most difficult stage in teenagers when a teenage cortex is desperately trying to develop its new consciousness.

Schizophrenia is a stage when brain cannot undergo much mental illness or confusion until the cognitive change of the teenage years have taken place .the brain stops growing and starts to prune away the exuberant childhood nerve branches, starts to coat previously unused pathways with fatty myelin  insulation ,activates its dopamine control system. Thus teenage mind acquires new forms of thought, self-awareness ,emotion and socialization that were not possible in the child the major illness of mankind are failures of the mental abilities we develop in our teenage years-like in case of depression it is the failure of our self-awareness circuit, whereas schizophrenia is the failure  of the teenage thoughts..Mental illness is built built into the developing brain from a very early age in the form of malformed circuits which lie dormant until the brain first tries to use them during adolescence like social withdrawal, anxiety, depression, poor concentration, irritability ,  unhappiness.

Mid Teenagers are sensitive and emotional but unable to analyse their social situation. This confusion can also make us understand the reason to mental illness. Brain scanning technique have shown that several of the areas involved in social perception, emotion and analysis have an abnormal structure in teenagers with mental illness .As we know that timing is an important matter thus timing of teenage  development is important , it suggest that the chronology of modern adolescent life has become fundamentally unnatural and harmful .Teenagers is a uniquely human phenomena, undergoing a sequence of physical and mental changes, carefully orchestrated to occur in a defined order over a prolonged period. Thus by changing time in this modern era , and daily changing society ,modern teenagers are thrust into  social environment and cultural system that are so unlike those in which they evolved, that most of them can’t cope . Not only teenagers but every [people nowadays try to make their way in the world, adapting to the modern system a, but the strain becomes so great that they fail mentally. Thus we can say that Schizophrenia is common in urban environment, especially in social disordered urban communities..

Now after knowing so many disadvantages of schizophrenia, can it have any positive impact? Yes it does .if you think it in positive manner then schizophrenia has positive impact as well. Creativity is central to human life, without it life would be boring. Creativity is an unusual mental process. It involves breaking free from run-of- the-mill ideas and making strange intellectual connections. Finding new solution to practical problems and developing new forms of artistic expression require the mind to think in an essentially confusing, non-sensical way. To make new mental links, the mind must be free to toy with apparently unrelated concepts. It must behave in a wild manner like it must run wild in an unfocused, disordered hope that it might stumble on some wonderful new truth as creativity is important, disordered and nonsensical thinking is an essential element of human mind. I heard that some people who hear divine is abnormal, but this is not true, people who hear divine voices in their head may be considered to be either Gods chosen or psychotic.

Schizophrenia is caused by a tangible, physical abnormality of the brain.It involves many problem like shrinking  hippocampus ,under stimulated prefrontal cortex, poorly developed cerebral cortical cell layers, poor communication between regions of the temporal  lobe , receding g grey matter and enlarged fluid filled spaces at the core of the brain. The Schizophrenic brain is an anatomic and chemical mess. Adolescence is a time of new vulnerability, when hidden defects emerge, it is vulnerable to mistiming of biological changes, adolescence is the victim of the unnaturalness of modern life, it is the time of failure to cope with stress, and it is the time when deep seated chemical failing of san anatomically flawed brain occurs. Thus schizophrenia is an extended exaggerated adolescence. It is the failure of the thoughts processes we happen to acquire as teenagers. Thus teenage times are the time of very complex changes taking place. Teenagers split stress into two components: they” experience stress” and deal with it. It is good to think but not too much as the prefrontal cortex is less active in schizophrenia, as there is not enough dopamine stimulating it from beneath. Thus some teenagers are inherently less able to cope with stressful situations because of “dopamine deficiency “.But even when these changes are taking place there is no need to worry as whatever changes takes place in our mind and around us happens for a good reason, it makes us experience the different phases of life, and every different thoughts teaches us a lesson by giving us a positive or negative message .Don’t take much stress and enjoy life.

No 1 is Psychologically 'Normal' so just chill dont give stress to your mind

How Does Depression Start and What are Its negative Effects 

It  is common in human nature to react to bad things happening i their lives by becoming sad, and of course this sadness can be profound which results in grief, lesser failure which leads to process called “reactive depression “in relation to this “clinical depression” is described a condition in which people feel extremely depressed. The characteristic symptoms of this kind of depression are: fatigue, headache, loss of sex drive, appetite changes, and waking early in the morning but not being able to get back to sleep. In clinical depression a person becomes locked into distinctively vicious cycle of negative thinking and hopelessness, especially about themselves, well in some cases people feel reactively depressed at some point in their life when something goes wrong , they are still able to articulate exactly why they are sad .

There is another kind of depression called “teenage sadness” they go through lots of mood swings. This mood changes takes place in second decade of life when the outside world becomes more horrible during adolescence, also the bodily changes at puberty brings changes in teenager’s behavior. Teenage sadness is such a distinctive and profound thing that it must result from changes taking place within the brain itself. Teenage mood alters as the teenage brain alters. Many normal teenagers exhibit symptoms that would be considered evidence of mental illness in adult .thus teenagers are good ammunition for those who claim that no one can ever be psychologically “normal”.

Symptoms of Depressed teenagers: Depressed teenagers are often irritable, whereas depressed adults are usually melancholy. Also adolescence is a time of characteristically dramatic mood swings for reason which may relate to anatomical reorganization of brain circuit controlling emotion. Due to this teenage sadness is often expressed loudly for the world to hear. It shows strong links to anxiety, suicide, drug use, eating disorders, promiscuity, teenage pregnancy and failure at school, signs of anxiety disorders thus depressed teenagers miss out so many things that they have to do and this depression very often continues long into adulthood. The social consequence of teenage depression is that sufferers can appear to become inward-looking to the point of selfishness and other teenagers can find it hard to sympathize with them .Negativity is a thread which runs through depression. We must learn to deal with bad things happening to us, often by putting them in perspective so we can bypass them in some way. People with depression focus on adverse events, and indeed their memory for positive events is measurably impaired. They react to these events with negative emotions. Teenagers with depression often draw unreasonably negative inferences about events. They think they are hopeless, and they find it difficult to escape from this thought. The worst of all is they interpret adverse events as a sign of their own inadequacy and weakness. If we believe that everything bad happens because you are incurably worthless, then it is hard to see way out .

Depressed people often think in all-or-nothing way, in which phenomena are either “good” or “bad”, which reinforces a sense of hopelessness when so many things fall into the “bad” category. It involves tendencies to jump to conclusions and over-generalize depressed teenagers often think that happiness comes from material possessions and social acceptance, whereas other teenagers are more  likely to value their own attitudes and goals .

If we want to stop teenagers entering life long struggle with depression, we must first work out why depression so often start at this particular phase of human life-plan. The answer to this is teenage body undergoes many unnerving and distressing changes during puberty, and this leads to teenage depression. The body is unstoppably and very publicly becoming sexualised in ways that can be embarrassing and occasionally disfiguring. Adolescence is a time when glandular fever and post-viral fatigue syndromes often take hold. These may cause depression directly or indirectly by depriving teenagers of contact with their developing social world. Depression is built into the fabric of growing up. Depression like most mental illness is an abnormal functioning of the mental abilities that define us as human. As we acquire most of those human abilities ring adolescence, depression starts when they reach teenage years. Teenage depression exposes a frightening instability in the human mind.

Self Esteem is another cause of teenage depression, as teenagers worry so much about how other see them, it is easy to understand why early symptoms of depression can weaken their self confidence so much that their self esteem falls even more. Social failure reduces self-esteem which breeds yet more social failure and the cycle is complete .The teenagers must  develop its self-esteem And learn to articulate its emotions and cope with adversity, all at a time when the very fabric of the brain is being rebuilt this psychological development is essential to becoming fully human, but it even exposes brain to own failing ,reason why depression start during adolescence is that this is the first time when the brain has sufficient  cognitive abilities to be able to suffer it .

We have already mentioned about “clinical depression ‘and the effect of this depression is that it even causes suicide, because an individual’s suicide has been argued to be evolutionary desirable if it frees resources from its surviving kin. Clinical depression is often effectively treated by drugs called” selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors “these drugs increase the amount of the neurotransmitter serotonin available in the brain and their effectiveness has been claimed quite reasonably , to suggest that something is wrong with the brains serotonin system during depression. Abnormal serotonin is the actual cause of depression. Thus the medicine mentioned above helps to remove much of the stigma of depression. The brain reacts to these drugs with a complex rebalancing of its neurotransmitter system, and maybe it is this rebalancing which “cures” depression. Well it will be wrong to say that just because this drugs work to cure depression but it does not ea that it strikes very root of the disease, and Thus it is ourselves which can cure this depression problem, even we have control in our mind and think everything positively and don’t take life seriously then we are out of depression. 

Analyzing your own self is one of the key to Human Success

PSYCHOTHERAPY

Psychotherapy is a valid approach to the teenage mental illness though there are other kinds of treatment for this problem but psychotherapy is the most effective treatment .Let us ask you a Question “How do teenagers learn to deal with themselves?”

Well common experience tells us that teenagers have to develop ways to understand, evaluate and accept themselves. This sense of self is hugely import-essential for every other part of mental well being. Without this we would be blindly reacting to the world around us without any reference to who we are. There are two important elements of sense of self which are important for teenagers: self-analysis and autonomy. Children’s are self –analytical from time to time .They learn the difference between what is going on in the world and what is going on in their head. At first ten years of life elapse, children’s occasionally refer to how they see themselves and how they think others see them, but these flickering of self-analysis are interspersed with long period of endearing ignorance of the self.

The changes takes place when we are adolescence .not only do teenagers spend more time looking inwards, but it starts to become an obsession. Early-teens may sit for long period mulling over their own hopes, fear, abilities and defects. This new found self-obsession is of course entirely normal .it s a sign that teenagers are doing what they evolved to do. One of the key to human success is that we are able to analyse ourselves-both as individuals and as a entire species we self-criticize, solve problems and adapt ourselves until we can achieve what we want. compared to children’s , children’s are poor at self –analysis, preferring instead for an adult to show them the correct way to do things, adolescents are the complete opposite .this is why they sometimes aggressively reject outside advice-thus they can learn how to modify their own thoughts.

Dramatic reconfiguration of the brain takes place exactly at the time when teenagers are becoming self-analytical. Self –analysis gives human immense mental flexibility, and it is teenagers who first see the advantage of that flexibility. They can strip apart and reassemble their own mental processes until they find a way to succeed. They learn the power of being able to solve their own problems to develop their own code of belief’s, to learn how to cope with adversity, to calm themselves and to enjoy self-reliance. Self awareness opens u a whole new world of mental possibilities- and a new mature, teenage, personality.

Self analysis brings its own problems. With it comes the opportunity for excessive, damaging self – criticism. Teenagers are more prone to self-criticism than adults, perhaps because they are still cognitively immature, socially inexperienced and often belittled by the adults around them. Many therapists worry that psychiatrist’s disorders often stem from a failure to construct a viable, coherent sense of self in the teenage years. The requirement for teenagers to set their own mental agenda means that, inevitably, some of them get it wrong. And as a result they can spend the rest of their lives locked in futile, obsessive attempts at trying to come to terms with themselves. Many troubled teenagers criticize about themselves to pieces. They are bright, charming, attractive people who seem to have no way to view themselves in positive light. They have a self image that they find it painful to live with, but cannot seem to change .they may not show symptoms severe enough to be diagnosed as mentally ill, but the flawed relationship they formed with themselves could stay with them forever.

Now we will speak about Autonomy .Autonomy cannot develop without self-analysis, and the converse is also probably true. During early adolescence, teenagers with-draw from their parents both mentally and emotionally. Although they still need them for occasional material and emotional support, they start to actively exclude their parents from their lives-a painful process but is nonetheless entirely normal .if a teenager is ever to be able to function as normal adult, it is thought that they must pass through this stage of self-determination to a state where they can stand alone as an emotional autonomous being. This voluntary act of dislocation from parents is itself empowering, and by leaving teenagers precariously isolated, it forces a radical review of their self-image . Maybe this is why parental support is so valuable for teenagers. The rewards of a teenager’s proclamation of autonomy are enormous a more profound state of consciousness which was not possible when they where child. They can glide from childish self interest to teenager’s desire for social approval to an adult sense of altruism and self sacrifice, gathering the beliefs and behaviour that will define them as individuals; slowly they start to develop the confidence to maintain their inner emotional stability without demanding support from others. They like to experiment with emotional independence and dependence. When people strikes the wrong balance between emotional attachment and disatachment during adolescence it leads to emotional turmoil .Most of the time it is seen that a large number of people react to relationship problem by trying harder and harder to fight their way into other’s affection, when the best thing may actually stand back and be an independent person that others find so attractive.

Thus autonomy has positive side as well; it is a good example of how conflict and upheaval are a healthy part of teenage life. Active rejection of parents opens up adult choices about independence and emotional relationships. It reveals a central emotional dichotomy built deep into human brain. According to this the right side of the brain accumulated the machinery of emotions, positivity and attachment, whereas the left side  acquired analysis, negativity and autonomy, as a result the right side is prone to social obsession and anxiety, while the left side is withdrawn and antisocial. And this tension between the two sides is claimed to have reached its pinnacle in humans-the master manipulator of social context, inquisitiveness and communication.

Thus we can say that self-analysis and autonomy are the two tools teenagers must develop to create a sense of self that will support them for the rest of their lives. People can change the way they see themselves later in life, but it can be incredibly difficult to repair the failing sense of self so often formed in adolescence. Self –analysis and autonomy is the cornerstone of teenage development, they can also cause one of the major psychological problems of adolescence: depression. Depression is one of the burden some illness in the world, and this is almost certainly the case in the developed world where it affects perhaps a fifth of population. This mainly happens during teenage years .

Two different mentality

Parents Mentality VS Their Child's mentality

Few days back I met a girl I assume her age to be between 18-19 years, I met her while i was travelling in a train, she was looking very depressed, as usual i wanted to know the reason behind her silent tears, once I had started speaking to her we both have become very friendly and I asked her the reason behind her depressed mood. “ family “ and “ parents “, “ society”  these three words where mentioned  by her as a answer  , when we further moved on with this conversation I came to know  more about her problem with “family” , “ parents” “ friends” and society .

Maximum of the students they face the problem of  communication gap between their “ parents” and “ family” and this  problem arises more with parents when parents don’t change themselves with the changing society and become liberal , as because parents only belief that they are in high position they have seen world  more and far better than what their children’s do in this way they underestimate their children that they don’t know what world and real life is and so they should do whatever their parents say them as “ parents are right and children’s are wrong “ – according to parents .Due to this reason children’s builds up a irritating nature towards their parents by not listening to them and doing whatever they feel like thus until and unless parents try to view the situation according to their children’s view this communication will not end keep on increasing .

Whatever a child desires to do is either supported my most parents but in maximum cases parents forces their children to choose such a career option which a child does not like and afterwards when they do bad results parents blame their child for their results and compares them with other child and demoralizes them , which gives rise to negative feeling in child’s mind and slowly they start assuming their parents as their as they had created all the problem in their life , the same  was the problem with this girl .in this modern generation if parents keep up with their conserved nature towards children then it becomes problem , in some family I have seen that parents use slang language  to their child if they find their child speaking late night , coming home late , wearing western clothes , or speaking to boys , now this kind of nature bring a kind of irritation in the mind of teenagers ,a s they live in the modern era there is no pint of making such kind of restriction in life as in any work area , or in  group of friends its very common speaking to boys , going out with them , coming  to home late night due to burden of work , as the children’s find that children’s are not being able to understand them properly they stop sharing anything relating to their personal life with their parents and keeps hiding situation and fights with the problem within themselves , which sometimes leads to depression .

Sometimes “family problem” like there is no compatibility between father and mother , or more attention is given to the elder sibling than younger one builds up a gap between children’s and families and thus in this situation children’s prefer spending most of the time outside house , they like to stay alone and speak less to anyone in the family and sometimes parents have problem with these even and start making their own imagination behind this kind of children’s nature , which make them more depressive .

When does a child starts hiding things with their parents:

-          When they notice that their mentality does not match with their parents mentality

-          When they notice that their parents have the habit of putting restriction in whatever they do

-          When they notice that their  parents have negative view of whatever they do , some families are so conservative that they have restriction in what kind of dress they wear , where they go ,  why they go to parties , why they are roaming around with boy in case of girls and girls in case of boys

-          If parents are not liberal and open minded then children’s does not like to discuss their personal life with their parents as they know that their parents will make their own imaginative conclusion and will raise question on the character of their child and use slang languages.

-sometimes it is seen that boys/ girls gets into habit of drinking and smoking firstly some do this to just enjoy their life, some do it because of excess career pressure and some do it just to show that they have a cool nature and others gets into this habit as when they see that their parents have a habit of blaming them for bad things even if they live a simple life then children’s think that it’s better to get indulged in this habits.

How parents and children’s should should handle this situation:

-parents should not force their child to choose a stream, career which they do not want to ,once a child reaches the age of 18 he / she has the whole right to make their own choice and decision and choose their career , at the age of 18 this becomes their legal right and they are well matured to understand what is right and wrong or them . moreover parents should be more liberal and open mind with their children’s and try to understand their children’s mentality rather than comparing them with someone else child , parents should not apply excess control over their children’s as this arouse negative feeling in child’s mind , moreover parents do not give birth to child to fulfil  their dreams but every child is born with their own new dreams and thus their dreams and their parents are different so parents should not force their child to fulfil  the dream what their parents want , applying to much restriction in child’s life make a children’s enemy towards their parents .and moreover boys/ girls if they have self confidence in themselves then they won’t rely o the decision of their parents or think about what others will think about them , f u have self confidence then without bothering anything they will complete their aim in life .

Girls and Boys React in Different Ways

ADOLESCENT GIRLS AND BOYS COMMUNICATE IN DIFFERENT WAYS
It is often seen that adolescent girls and boys communicate in different ways . Girls often talk to each others heads is to share their feelings and experiences directly. Teenage boys tend to study their peers more indirectly, by discussing opinions of more abstract phenomena, like sports or music. it is  also tempting to speculate that linguistic differences also affect  how teenagers interact with their parents.

when parents impose some heinous new restriction on their teenage offspring's liberty, girls react with long articulate arguments challenging the perceived injustice,whereas boys express their rebellion by simply defying the new restriction and then mutely accepting any resulting parental retribution and then mutely accepting any resulting parental retribution.Maybe the screams and sulks of adolescence should be see fossil evidence of our species quest for superiority .adolescence is not only elaborate and protracted set of bodily changes, but even more importantly it is most crucial phase in the ponderous and demanding development of the huge human brain. adolescent brain are special because it is site of spectacular restructuring. the emotional, cognitive and linguistic changes of adolescence make it the central part of human life plan-this is the cerebral crossroads at which all the aspects of our mental life meet .
 However Teenagers change so fast that their life can become precarious balancing act-and we see that this makes them intrinsically unstable when confronted with drugs, relationships and sex.Many of the things teenagers do are just harmless investigation of the world around them, but others can be repercussions that will live with them rest of their lives.in many developed countries the most common causes of teenage death are accidents,homicide and suicide.clearly things can go very wrong . teenagers can pay an enormous price for being the pinnacle of human evolution .

Complexity in life gone through by Teenagers

   TEENAGE YEARS ARE THE COMPLEX YEARS 

  If there is one thing society expects teenagers to do, it is to develop their mental skills. We human cherish our advanced thought processes for good reason: we have created a world in which our success is often determined not by crude physical effort, but by our ability to solve intellectual practical and social problems. Considering how much importance we attach to higher mental function in teenagers, teenagers think differently from children; and teenagers body mature faster than their brains.

 Defining intelligence is almost impossible .Many people’s intelligence lies in their ability to analyse themselves, capitalize on their strengths, remedy their weakness and interact with others. This has led to more general theories of intelligence, emphasizing things such as ability to succeed in ones social context or in one’s own opinion. And for us too, it might be best to take a very flexible approach to intelligence in teenagers. For sake of argument intelligence is the end product of cognition- our mental ability to approach and solve problems, but teenagers do start to tackle many mental tasks that children’s simply cannot attempt. They can create and manipulate abstract concepts, cope with shades OF grey in arguments, generate novel argument based on initial assumption, approach task methodically and set themselves distant goal. They also do powerful  feat of analysing their own thought processes-generating their own ideals, criticising and improving their own thinking and analysing their own worth, they develop strong social dimension to their thinking, analyse relationship verbally articulate all their new thoughts to others and metalize-create mental models about how other people think .

we do not become fully mentally human until we are teenagers  because powers of self-analysis and metallization develop during adolescence, it is tempting to suggest that they are characteristics which humans could evolve only once  we had evolved teenagers, several thousand years ago . Self analysis and metallization can come to obsess teenagers to a point at which they can no longer function in society, the teenagers develop many of their cognitive abilities like the ability to ignore irrelevant information and process salient data reaches adult-like levels early in the teenage years; but not until nineteen or so do we fully develop our ability to hold many competing , interacting concepts  in our mind once, also the speed at which we can interpret the emotions expressed in the human face is actually lower in the early teens than in either children’s or adults.

Teenagers become fluent in the ‘formal operations’ of physical entities before they can do the same for analysing social relationships, raising the fascinating possibility that scientists may become intellectually mature before artists do. Establishing cognition is important, establishing goals and the satisfaction of achieving them are very important in human cognition and more important is the ability to change tack: once a goal is set, we retain the ability to set it aside temporarily and work towards other goals if necessary. For example, injury of the prefrontal cortex can lead to a tendency to persevere excessively with tasks, when sensible things do is   to disengage and concentrate on something else for a while .teenagers learns to separate wanted and unwanted ideas and focus on their work. It seems teenagers mind are often more creatively free than adults and this may explain their creative leaps in fields as diverse as mathematics and popular music’s.

The teenage years are time of beautiful mental experiments, when many of us decide who we are and where we are going. And working memory which allows teenagers to achieve this. An important feature of teenage language is the ability to linguistically manipulate other people, and the new found ability to metalize means that this manipulation is often mutual and consensual. Teenagers starts to gossip and tease and they soon learn the difference between doing these things with affection and with malice. Humor and manipulation become teenagers favorite way of getting inside other peoples head –testing the boundaries of what others peoples will or will not accept. and of course flirting is the most delightfully elaborate form of teenage communication one is which all the post –childhoods skills are brought to bear- humor, teasing, tone, style astounding feats of circumlocution. Another striking adolescent linguistic change relates to the way that teenagers start to communicate less with their families and more with their peers. They develop novel form of communication for different social situations. The most important of these is the language they use in social group with other teenagers –like slang, idioms, in –joke and codes. So teenagers are not learning language, but they are learning how to use it. Human language is complex-as complex as the human brain can comprehend-and adolescence is where that complexity starts, one effect of this is that abnormalities of language such as dyslexia starts to become more apparent in teenagers , even if they were ‘ hidden’ during childhood. Thus we can conclude that teenage years goes through very complex stage which can bring complexity in both physical , mental and emotional condition of a person thus it is the stage when we should not become too hyper when this changes are taking place instead we should keep ourselves calm and let these changes happen and take it i a positive way  and take necessary steps to bring improvement in us in next stage .

How will you look to your future with confidence

GOALS FOR FUTURE

 If you have a stable mood and you have no immediate goals you wish to work on, then would you give up self help? The answer would be no. However you may be able to tailor the use of the techniques to fit in with your preferences. There are two elements to this strategy.

-          Don’t stop self – regulation or any key approach that has really been of benefit. Try to identify the minimum number of techniques you are prepared to continue using, and then push yourself to keep them going. This is important as you need to feel able to increase the use of these or similar techniques in response to change. lack of practice may reduce your confidence in using the technique when under stress

-          Awareness of the key features of your mood swings and the associated symptoms and problems.

-          Recognizing your relapse signature or when your problems are escalating

-          Taking early action to deal with problems or potential relapses , including seeking help from others

-          Try not to panic or castastrophize; stay as a calm as you can, and reflect on what has happened

-          Try to answer the following questions :

: What negative automatic thoughts may be contributing to how you are feeling?

: can you write down any automatic thoughts, and can you challenge the most powerful thoughts?

: What underlying beliefs may have been activated?

: write down the techniques that you might use at the moment like activity scheduling, calming activities, and problem-solving.

: are there any behavioral or cognitive strategies that you could use to help you cope with this situation?

Dealing with any negative thoughts and feelings is particularly important, as this may clarify what the real issues are and allow you to work out what steps you need to take next.

HOW WILL YOU LOOK TO FUTURE WITH CONFIDENCE?

: overcoming low self –esteem through

-developing a realistic appraisal of your strengths and weakness

Reducing self criticism

-reducing reliance on the views of others

Testing out alternative views of yourself

Overcoming poor self image that arises as a consequence of mood swings by trauma minimization –applying personal first aid to deal with like, grief and loss, guilt and shame, stigma. Developing strong relationships through clear communication, asserting yourself, sharing responsibility if you choose. Developing life goals that are specific and realistic, clearly defined in terms of steps or sub-goals, recorded on a time schedule, having awareness of mood swings, recognizing symptoms and problems, taking early action, setting up therapy session with yourself, dealing effectively with setbacks. 

FEAR OF REJECTION

STIGMA

Many individuals feel that their status in society is undermined by the negative views about mental health problems expressed by the public at large. Alas, these prejudices do impact on the lives of many people and will not be removed overnight. But, as you cannot control what others believe or how they view mental health problems, it is unhelpful to target all your energies in them, but the first action that is required is to focus on whether you hold any prejudices against yourself. If you are a perfectionist, do you now see yourself as ‘defective’? Does this fear of rejection turn from sadness into anger? If these ideas are operating, you may need to review your own belief and think about how to tackle the disappointment you feel about yourself, anger often arises as a secondary reaction, you may need to work on the primary emotion, which may be hurt or sadness.

RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER

Relationship problem takes place due to following reason

-          Communication problem

-           Assertion

-           - sharing responsibility , including working with professionals

COMMUNICATION

It is important to understand the process of our interaction with other people particularly if you wish to pre-empt problems in relationship. Methods of tackling inter-personal problems

-          Take time to think about what you need to say and what issues you are trying to get across

-          Avoid placing all the responsibility on the other person. it may lead to the other person defending themselves aghast a perceived criticism , or angrily suggesting that you ‘ sort yourself out ‘

-          ‘Always’ and ‘never’ are key words to ban from the conversation. Other unhelpful statement include ‘if you loved me you would ...’ or ‘if you cared about me you wouldn’t ‘.

-          Try to develop a shared view of the problem. If you don’t agree n the problem, you will never agree on the solution.

-          Be a good listener. Don’t interrupt people and don’t tell them they’re wrong. remember they are expressing their opinions or feelings

-          Retain your perspective. if the conversation is getting heated , be prepared to negotiate some time out so that both of you can review where the conversation is going and can start it back on track

-           Try to take a step-by-step approach to any agreed action, and set a time when you can both discuss the progress you have made.

-          Be prepared to play an active role in finding the solution, even if this means giving some-thing up. don’t expect the other person to ‘ give to get’ or to do all the giving

-          Be willing to try a solution suggested by someone else; don’t simply push the other person to follow your proposed course of action.

-          Lastly don’t be afraid to suggest that you jointly seek help. a third party can often help keep a situation calm and help you focus on expressing your views in a constructive way , rather than falling into trap of attacking the views expressed by someone else .

ASSERTION

It is one aspect of clear communication. expressing yourself through anger is unlikely to help you get your need met , on the other hand it is equally true that you can end up feeling very frustrated or unhappy if you find yourself doing things you did not wish to because you failed to speak up and state what your needs were . Expressing your views either too forcefully or too meekly leads to problems, learn to express your preferences clearly and calmly, and to negotiate with others effectively.

 How to assert?

-          Have respect for yourself and recognize your own needs

-          Be prepared to ask for what you want

-           When expressing your opinion or feeling, always use ‘I’ statement

-          If you are unsure about a proposal, ask for time to think it through; avoid being pressured into instant decision

-          Remember that you can change your mind but if you do, try to give people clear warning and an explanation.

-          Recognize that you cannot completely control those of other  adults

-          Respect that other people have the right to apply the same rules of assertion to their own situations.

Try to work on your problem with professionals

-sharing responsibility relates to how you work with health care professionals, it means you are both clear about the aims of treatment and are both working towards the same goals. In this relationship you are entitled to respect, information and choice.  In return you must try to respect the other person’s opinion and the advice they offer. Have depth knowledge about your own special circumstances that it would be hard for anyone else to attain. sharing the knowledge you both have and then coming to an informed decision is worthwhile , but can be very hard work for both parties.

TRAUMA MINIMIZATION

GRIEF AND LOSS
When individual experience mood swings it disrupt their functioning so gravely that they are no longer able to complete college courses or carry on in their employment. This unexpected restriction not only affects their immediate activities, but also changes their career prospect and the future course of their lives. Many who have had such an experience feel they have become different people, and grieve for their lost selves, the people they used to be .This is both common and understandable. This experience can be compared with bereavement, and are compounded by the very real losses that can be associated with having a significant mental health problem, such as loss of income and status. Others find that there are major tensions in their personal lives, sometimes leading to the breakup of important relationships. 

If these things happen to you, there is no benefit in trying to underplay the difficulties created by your recurrent mood swings. You will need time to recover from your disappointments. To adjust to your new situation, and to move forward. 

KEY STEPS WILL HELP YOU TO BEGIN WITH COPING PROCESS 

- Try to be clear about which problems are genuinely related to mood swings. As with any grief reaction, the real losses will take time to come to terms with. Don't complicate the process by over generalizing and attributing every negative event in your life to your mood disorder. 

- Avoid focusing on the “unfairness" of life. Life certainly is unfair in many ways , but it is unhelpful to spend too much time concentrating on something you can't change . Preoccupation with what has already occurred may simply feed your anger and prevent you implementing strategies that help you move forward 

- Don’t pretend it hasn't happened. Avoidance of this kind is likely simply to store up problems for the kind is likely simply to store up problems for the future. At some point you will have examine what has happened, and what you can do to improve your situation. The problems will not disappear if you ignore them 

- Another way of avoiding the reality is to label yourself as the “illness”. For example, avoid introducing yourself as “I am a manic depressive". Don’t deny the problem, but try to remember that there is more to your identity than a mood disorder. Sometimes you will need to remind yourself of this, and it is important to make others aware of it as well 

It is important to replace an unrealistic existence with a realistic one. However like an addiction to a drug, your highs will not be easy to give up simply because it seems as a sensible idea. You might try to reduce your dependency on highs by using a step- by – step approach similar to  “ human reduction “ programme , making a gradual change to the degree of  upswing in your mood that are acceptable or the agreed boundary between your normal or abnormal state . You have give attention to how to compensate for the loss of this experience from your life. Like what action you should take that will give you positive feeling about yourself? Try to ask question within yourself and you will get all the answers to your question within your mind.

shame and guilt leads to downfall of your self confidencev

SHAME AND GUILT

Common reason why individuals struggle to move forward is that they feel guilty about the way they used to behave or are ashamed of themselves; guilt and shame are closely linked emotions. Both are usually associated with a belief that we have violated our own rules about how individuals should behave , that we have failed to live up to our own standards or have been disgraced in the eyes of others , coping with this thoughts and emotions are difficult , the starting point is to acknowledge to yourself what  has occurred and then to evaluate the facts of the situation.

Try to give yourself some positive feedback for choosing to face the problem and not avoiding it. When bad things happen it is easy to understand why the last thing you want to do is think about them .however it is equally unhelpful to let any negative thoughts go around and around in your mind. try to take problem solving approach and focus on what you need to do about what happened, then record on a piece of paper exactly what occurred, what was the event that makes you feel guilty or ashamed, list everything and everybody who contributed or might have contributed to this outcome .put yourself at the bottom of the list next draw a big circle on the paper. Starting at the top of the list, divide the circle up into segments of different sizes according to the degree of responsibility that should be attributed to each circumstances and each person involved, The greater the responsibility the bigger the piece of the pie. Once you start asking questions to yourself, your intuition gives you the answer and relief you from the emotional disturbance. Rewind your thoughts to your experience, Is there anything that you can learn from your experience, or anything that you can do to overcome any difficulties that have occurred? Even if you think that the responsibility is at your shoulder then try asking yourself these questions.

-          -How serious was the incident? Does your assessment concur with that of other people?

-          -When you had acted in that way. Where you aware of the consequences?

-          -What did you learn and how can you avoid similar incident in future?

-         - How can you repair the damages?

-        -  In longer terms will this incidents be important?

-          -What strategies can you apply to help yourself cope up from it if they are finding hard to forgive you?

But remember don’t fall into the trap of becoming more and more negative about yourself. If this starts to happen , you can try to tackle your automatic thoughts; alternatively , try to focus on a ‘ task-orientating ‘statement such as ‘ doing a bad thing does not prove that i am bad person ‘ or ‘ having done  bad thing in the past does not mean i cannot change how I act in the future’. You may wish to talk through with a trusted confidant any action you think might repair the damage. Getting feedback in this stage may increase your chances of achieving successful outcome.

Your Self Esteem

Looking To Your Future 

When you feel down, it is common to have negative automatic thoughts about yourself .However some individual report that they never feel totally at ease with themselves. This is how self esteem or lack of self confidence may be lifelong characteristic, predating any mood swings; or it may have arisen as a consequence of repeated severe mood swings and difficulties in coming to terms with behaviour during these episodes. In reality many individuals mood disorder have a long - standing fragile self esteem that is further undermined by experiencing mood swings. There are number of approaches to overcoming low level self -esteem. 

HELPFUL STRATEGIES 

-To Develop Realistic view yourself

-To reduce your over-dependency on other's opinions

-To try to build a positive self -image 

Try to clarify in your own mind where any negative feelings come from, and how accurate any negative thoughts are, it is helpful to draw up a list of your personal strengths and weakness. Like - What do you like/dislike about yourself?

- What positive/ negative qualities do you possess?

- What do other people like or dislike in other people?

Try to avoid global labels such as “i am a terrible mother” or " I am useless”. Even if you have such negative thoughts try to be specific about why you have made this statement. This means exploring the Evidence 

UNHELPFUL STRATEGIES 

-trying to avoid thinking about what happened 

- trying to externalize the responsibility for the way you feel 

-  trying to convince yourself that being slightly high will overcome your negative view of yourself 

AVOID SELF CRITICISM 

it is helpful to look at how you assess yourself day - day basis . By all means set yourself realistic and acceptable standards, and by all means assess whether you have lived up to your expectation. Try not to be overly self critical as self criticism motivates people. It does the opposite .individuals who constantly find fault with their own actions become demoralized and find it hard to keep going in face of increased stress. Making constructive and encouraging self-statements, on the other hand, can help you achieve your goals. To overcome self - criticism, see if you can reframe your criticism into more helpful statements that encourage you, rather than demand that you do certain things. If your internal critical voice is very powerful, imagine that it is a parrot sitting in your shoulder that is making this criticism. The way of dealing this parrot is either to make it fly away or kill it. Silence is the internal critic. 

 DON'T BE OVERDEPENDENT ON THE VIEWS OF OTHER 

  Some individuals, rather than experiencing persistent low self esteem, say that their self - image varies purely on the basis of the feedback they get from other people . Fluctuating self-esteem is an damaging as continuously low self - esteem, as it makes you vulnerable to more extreme mood swings. While you should not ignore all feedback from other , it is important to see these comments in context . ask yourself these  question 

- on scale 0-100 how sensitive you are  to the views of other 

- how critical are others of you 

- do you give equal attention to positive and negative feedback 

if you explore your answers to these questions , you may be able to judge whether you are too vulnerable  to other people's opinion, particularly critical comments . if you are sufficiently clear in your own mind about your strengths and weakness and your sensitivity to criticism, you will be better able to evaluate the comments other make about you . Positive feedback will confirm  your good points and negative feedback , although painful to hear , should not be too much of shock . Remember that it is important  to keep a balanced realistic view . Dont overemphasize positive comments , by all means be pleased , but keep your feet on the ground . Getting to carried away could simply set you on the path to  a high . don't castastrophize about negative comments , even if presented in critical way and are difficult to accept , try to work out what the person is trying to tell you . is there a grain of truth in their comments that you can learn from ? lastly remember your reaction to others comment will be largely detached by your automatic thoughts. 

Agree to explore the alternative views  eg if yo hold the belief that " i am unlovable ', rewrite as " i am lovable '.having  reframed the statement thus rate 0-100 scale how strongly you subscribe to this new beliefs . the likelihood is that you will give this alternative belief a very low rating . this is understandable  for throughout your whole life so far you have unwillingly collected information  to support your old views . however from today you have to  try to collect and record any piece of information , no matter how small , that supports the new belief . don't bother with the evidence against your new idea ; you have been attending to that for years , and could fill a textbook with it . 

The whole point is to  raise awareness of any information in the environment that starts to support your alternative belief and also remember you are not aiming for perfection . it is unlikely that you will feel 100% " i am lovable" however you may conclude that some individuals find you lovable most of the time . likewise, being totally competent is unrealistic , try to aim for a acceptable and reasonable level of competency 

what is Hopelessness

 HOPELESSNESS 
If you are depressed you may get thoughts that make you feel hopeless . Unfortunately , some individuals who feel intensely hopeless about their future begin to think that they cannot carry on . In order to keep yourself safe through these difficult times, it is important to remember that the automatic thoughts that are making you feel hopeless can be tackled through the same techniques as those used for anxiety or depression . What evidence is there for thoughts ? What alternative ways of viewing your situation are there ? What activities could you undertake right now to alleviate these feelings, even for a short time ?
If you really cannot overcome your hopelessness it is important to talk to someone else . This becomes vital if you have any associated idea about harming yourself . If these thoughts flood your mind and you are felling too down to tackle them alone , please seek help .
KEEP GOING AND SEEKING HELP 
Even with practice , there will be times when it is very difficult to use the techniques , you may find it hard  to focus on thoughts , to write things down , or to take action . It does take an enormous effort to start using these approaches .
 If you are struggling  to implement these strategies , can anyone offer you support in your efforts? Even someone offering encouragement to try  self- management approaches may help you get started . Other approaches to the management of depression , such as professional input from mental health  and self medication with anti - depressants , are also important .

THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND

 MODIFY UNHELPFUL OR DYSFUNCTIONAL THOUGHTS 
The most common automatic  thoughts that accompany a downswing are negative thoughts about yourself , your world and your future ( sometimes called negative cognitive trial ) which is associated with depressed mood , although the negative prediction about the future are also associated with anxiety . Irritability is also a prominent emotion in highs and lows , particularly in response to perceived criticism of what you do . Negative mood states can be alleviated temporarily by distracting yourself from the thoughts . However , to achieve lasting reduction in your depression and anxiety , it helps to be able to recognize and record , review and respond to your unhelpful automatic thoughts.
RECOGNIZE AND RECORD AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS 
it is not easy to identify thoughts immediately as they run through your mind , and it will take some practice .The two key elements that will help are to note down exactly what you were doing when you noticed that your mood changed, then to record how depressed or anxious you felt on 0 - 100 scale . it is difficult to to describe what your where doing throughout the day , what thoughts where gong inside your mind . try closing your eyes and recreating the scene in your imagination . Ask yourself the following questions :
- what thoughts , memories , images do I have ?
-What thoughts do I have about other people ?
-What thoughts am I predicting they have about me ?
-What do any of these thoughts say about me or my situation ? And about other people
- If it were true, what does this idea mean about me ? Or about others ?
-What am I afraid of right now ?what bad events or outcomes am I predicting
Now fr this list try identifying what are the useless thoughts that  go through your mind rate them from 0- 100 . after rating pause and remind yourself that just because this is the first idea that came into your mind or the one you believe the most .before moving to explore your thoughts it is helpful to make sure  they accurately reflect  your immediate reaction to the situation . you may be tempted to be tone down  a statement  to make it less painful . unfortunately , techniques for modifying dysfunctional thoughts are probably more effective  if you deal with raw  rather than the polite version . for example " i am bad {or " i am no good " are clear negative automatic thoughts that would make you feel down , whereas " i began to think i wasn't very nice " or " i thought i did not do that  very well " do not convey the reality  of thoughts or depth of feeling .
REVIEW YOUR AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS 
Try selecting the one that you believe most strongly , or the most extreme idea , and then review it is detail by working through the following stages . EXAMINE THE EVIDENCE : Stick with factual evidence , not feelings , intuition , or hearsay . Next , write down all the evidence that does not support your automatic thoughts . To get started note anything that contradicts your thoughts , no matter how small . if you are still struggling , think about what you would say to someone else if they asked for your views of the evidence for and against the idea . You  could also think whether you have any past experience that support or refute your idea . having collected evidence for and against  your automatic thought, is there any room for doubt that it is right ? if you are still not sure , identify any additional source that will help you reach a conclusion ? what could you experiment  to test out the idea yourself ?
THE ALTERNATIVES 
 Questions that may include :
- what other views could i take of the situation ?
- would i view the situation differently if I felt better ?
- have I any experience of similar situation ?
- what might someone else think in this situation , particularly someone who is not depressed ?
ADDITIONAL STRATEGIES
Question to yourself like :
- Are there any advantages to holding this views ? Are there any disadvantages ?
-Can I identify any particular pattern of thinking errors , e.g. overgeneralize
- Am I talking all the responsibility for a situation ? Can I take more balanced view , where I take some but not all of the responsibility  for what has occurred ?
- Finally , if my original idea an accurate reflection of the situation , what is the most constructive  and helpful action I can take ?
RESPONDING TO YOUR AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS
 - re - rate the intensity of your emotional  response ? It is unlikely  that your depression will have disappeared , but you may be able to rate your  feeling less negatively . Finally review the outcome of working through this process . What have you learned ? Is there any other action you can now take to help your future in modifying this thought ?
- if there is no change in your mood state , consider whether there is any other powerful thoughts operating that you have not yet examined . If so . it is worth rating the process , targeting the new thoughts.
-lastly , it is important to use these cognitive techniques alongside the practical techniques outlined in the previous section . The combination is likely to improve your mod state more than either approach alone .