Saturday 10 August 2013

Two different mentality

Parents Mentality VS Their Child's mentality
Few days back I met a girl I assume her age to be between 18-19 years, I met her while i was travelling in a train, she was looking very depressed, as usual i wanted to know the reason behind her silent tears, once I had started speaking to her we both have become very friendly and I asked her the reason behind her depressed mood. “ family “ and “ parents “, “ society”  these three words where mentioned  by her as a answer  , when we further moved on with this conversation I came to know  more about her problem with “family” , “ parents” “ friends” and society .
Maximum of the students they face the problem of  communication gap between their “ parents” and “ family” and this  problem arises more with parents when parents don’t change themselves with the changing society and become liberal , as because parents only belief that they are in high position they have seen world  more and far better than what their children’s do in this way they underestimate their children that they don’t know what world and real life is and so they should do whatever their parents say them as “ parents are right and children’s are wrong “ – according to parents .Due to this reason children’s builds up a irritating nature towards their parents by not listening to them and doing whatever they feel like thus until and unless parents try to view the situation according to their children’s view this communication will not end keep on increasing .
Whatever a child desires to do is either supported my most parents but in maximum cases parents forces their children to choose such a career option which a child does not like and afterwards when they do bad results parents blame their child for their results and compares them with other child and demoralizes them , which gives rise to negative feeling in child’s mind and slowly they start assuming their parents as their as they had created all the problem in their life , the same  was the problem with this girl .in this modern generation if parents keep up with their conserved nature towards children then it becomes problem , in some family I have seen that parents use slang language  to their child if they find their child speaking late night , coming home late , wearing western clothes , or speaking to boys , now this kind of nature bring a kind of irritation in the mind of teenagers ,a s they live in the modern era there is no pint of making such kind of restriction in life as in any work area , or in  group of friends its very common speaking to boys , going out with them , coming  to home late night due to burden of work , as the children’s find that children’s are not being able to understand them properly they stop sharing anything relating to their personal life with their parents and keeps hiding situation and fights with the problem within themselves , which sometimes leads to depression .
Sometimes “family problem” like there is no compatibility between father and mother , or more attention is given to the elder sibling than younger one builds up a gap between children’s and families and thus in this situation children’s prefer spending most of the time outside house , they like to stay alone and speak less to anyone in the family and sometimes parents have problem with these even and start making their own imagination behind this kind of children’s nature , which make them more depressive .
When does a child starts hiding things with their parents:
-          When they notice that their mentality does not match with their parents mentality
-          When they notice that their parents have the habit of putting restriction in whatever they do
-          When they notice that their  parents have negative view of whatever they do , some families are so conservative that they have restriction in what kind of dress they wear , where they go ,  why they go to parties , why they are roaming around with boy in case of girls and girls in case of boys
-          If parents are not liberal and open minded then children’s does not like to discuss their personal life with their parents as they know that their parents will make their own imaginative conclusion and will raise question on the character of their child and use slang languages.
-sometimes it is seen that boys/ girls gets into habit of drinking and smoking firstly some do this to just enjoy their life, some do it because of excess career pressure and some do it just to show that they have a cool nature and others gets into this habit as when they see that their parents have a habit of blaming them for bad things even if they live a simple life then children’s think that it’s better to get indulged in this habits.
How parents and children’s should should handle this situation:
-parents should not force their child to choose a stream, career which they do not want to ,once a child reaches the age of 18 he / she has the whole right to make their own choice and decision and choose their career , at the age of 18 this becomes their legal right and they are well matured to understand what is right and wrong or them . moreover parents should be more liberal and open mind with their children’s and try to understand their children’s mentality rather than comparing them with someone else child , parents should not apply excess control over their children’s as this arouse negative feeling in child’s mind , moreover parents do not give birth to child to fulfil  their dreams but every child is born with their own new dreams and thus their dreams and their parents are different so parents should not force their child to fulfil  the dream what their parents want , applying to much restriction in child’s life make a children’s enemy towards their parents .and moreover boys/ girls if they have self confidence in themselves then they won’t rely o the decision of their parents or think about what others will think about them , f u have self confidence then without bothering anything they will complete their aim in life .