Teenage Friendship
Girls, who develop their mental abilities more
quickly, may therefore find their aspirations frustrated throughout their
adolescent years. Maybe this explains why teenage girls often emotionally
distance themselves from their parents more actively than boys do. At the same
time that teenagers are rejecting their parents they are also undergoing a
second profound social upheaval; they are becoming more attached to their
friends .The Human habit of seeking out others of similar age(and usually sex )
for protracted discussion and rumination is unique. Indeed, many teenagers
report that they are happiest when chatting to their friends. Also many of the
misdemeanours perpetrated by teenagers are explained as a result of peer
pressure .Indeed, many teenagers say that their friend is someone who will
support them in times of need.
Another possibility of teenage friendships is that they are
learning experience. Thus adolescent friendship could be viewed as a way to
practice social skills in a relatively risk-free environment. Nest theory of
Teenage friendship is that it supports our sense of self. By engaging with
other teenagers, we learn that society accepts us, even validates us, and that
as a result we have some social value. As we know that how self –esteem is
enormously important to normal psychological development and that having a
place in a group of friends-a sense that one is, to some extent, irreplaceable-is
crucial in developing self-esteem. Having a nucleus of good friends has been strongly
linked to happiness, and some psychologists have even suggested that there is
an optimum number of friends for teenage mental health. Friendship is central
to teenage development and the urge to avoid loneliness is incredibly strong. Teenagare’s
value the triad of reciprocal to the social learning and self –esteem so much
that studies show that they instinctively evaluate other teenagers for the three corresponding
outward signs of common interests, mutual understanding and positive
communication.
Appearance is important to them, and one way they register
their social position is by fashion. Obviously teenagers select their clothing
and accessories to make themselves look attractive to competitors and suitors,
but there is much more to it than that. After all, teenage girls do not all wear
“cute” clothes and teenage boys do not all wear “macho” ones. Instead they
choose clothes they think say something about themselves, be it their
membership of a social group, their ability to keep up with the times, or some
selected aspect of their individuality. One example of this is piercings, a
form of self-mutilation presumably intended to convey a certain social spikiness,
as well as a refusal to conform. Another is the enduring appeal of the Coth,a
fashion for dark clothes ,pale skin and striking makeup that has lasted , with
a few changes in terminology, for a quarter
of a century-a veritable eternity in the world of teenage fashion.
The formation of gangs is often viewed a s a more alarming
aspect of the adolescent drive for inclusion in peer groups. Yet aggregating
into exclusive social groups is an almost unavoidable part of growing up. As an
adult it is easy to ignore the fact that for much of the time, there simply is
not very much for teenagers to do with their leisure time. Groups of teenagers
have to hang around on street corners and in parks: they are drawn to be with their
friends, they are barred from places where alcohol is served, and the last
place they want to be is in the parental home. After all, that would be too
much like children going round to each others houses’ to play”. Similar trend
is seen in the fragmented and slightly marginal groups of Juveniles who mope
around the periphery of many primate communities. But we can’t deny the fact
that humans operate in social groups, and sometimes they do the wrong things. Unfortunately
,when the world outside becomes a dangerous place, we often react by becoming
ever more dependent on our social group for protection-in the process becoming
more susceptible to being part of the mob.
Central importance to Teenage friendship, it can be very
different phenomenon in girls and boys..On average girls are much more open
with their friends, and share more intimate details of their own emotions and biology than boys, as their friends know
so many of their embarrassing secrets, trust often becomes extremely important
in female teenage friendships. Loss of friends can be a stressful and
frightening experience for a girl, and is often viewed as a betrayal. Conversely
boys seem less open and emotional with their friends, and their conversations
often focus on shared interests, such as sports, music, or the more superficial
aspects of female attractiveness. After all friendship is all about getting
inside other peoples head and letting them inside yours, and just because boys
do this more obliquely than girls does
not mean
that their feelings are any less strong
or warm. Well friends can also be the major cause of anxiety for teenagers.
Lack of friends can be devastating, leading to anxiety, low –esteem and
depression. Also as breaking up with friends can be a bitter blow, and
especially worrying for girls. The phenomena of loss and loneliness affect
teenagers so badly because they often see them as reflections upon themselves-implying
that they cannot acquire or retain friends because there is something wrong
with them. Adults who have more of a “track records” of good friends in the past,
can view upheavals in their friendship with a
ore related attitude.
Another social upheaval which teenagers must deal and that
is competitiveness. Human teenage hierarchies are fluid, with individuals
clambering their way up and slipping down, and they are also divisive, because
teenagers compete with friends and non-friends alike. Friends can tacitly ”negotiate”
some sort of rapprochement whereby they stop competing directly, but even this
is illusory, as two friends usually still have to stake their claims to places
in same hierarchy. Even adults have dominance hierarchies too, but as they are
more long-standing, and the individuals in them are undergoing less physical,
mental and social flux, they tend to be more stable-less clambering and
slipping means less anxiety. Boy become more overly competitive in their early
teenage years ,and initially their status depends on physical strength and
skills, and to some extend their social skills and looks .moving up and down
the hierarchy depends on clear-cut
episodes of success or failures in various physical activities. High
status does not necessarily require leadership abilities, and often it is boys
slightly lower down pecking order who takes the initiative. Boys intelligence
appears to have little effect on their position in their hierarchy .Girls are complex,
implicit and stressful hierarchies. Girls assert their status by criticism and
ridicule and shunning targeted individuals.
Well I would say that Humans certainly look different from
each other, so its obvious that we are mentally, emotionally, and socially
different too. Celebrating diversity is all very good, but it is the teenagers
who face the awful task of working out where they fit into the sea of human
social variations.
