Looking To Your Future
When you feel down, it is common to have negative automatic
thoughts about yourself .However some individual report that they never feel
totally at ease with themselves. This is how self esteem or lack of self
confidence may be lifelong characteristic, predating any mood swings; or it may
have arisen as a consequence of repeated severe mood swings and difficulties in
coming to terms with behaviour during these episodes. In reality many
individuals mood disorder have a long - standing fragile self esteem that is
further undermined by experiencing mood swings. There are number of approaches
to overcoming low level self -esteem.
HELPFUL STRATEGIES
-To Develop Realistic view yourself
-To reduce your over-dependency on other's opinions
-To try to build a positive self -image
Try to clarify in your own mind where any negative feelings come
from, and how accurate any negative thoughts are, it is helpful to draw up a
list of your personal strengths and weakness. Like - What do you like/dislike
about yourself?
- What positive/ negative qualities do you possess?
- What do other people like or dislike in other people?
Try to avoid global labels such as “i am a terrible mother” or
" I am useless”. Even if you have such negative thoughts try to be
specific about why you have made this statement. This means exploring the
Evidence
UNHELPFUL STRATEGIES
-trying to avoid thinking about what happened
- trying to externalize the responsibility for the way you
feel
- trying to convince yourself that being slightly high will
overcome your negative view of yourself
AVOID SELF CRITICISM
it is helpful to look at how you assess yourself day - day basis .
By all means set yourself realistic and acceptable standards, and by all means
assess whether you have lived up to your expectation. Try not to be overly self
critical as self criticism motivates people. It does the opposite .individuals
who constantly find fault with their own actions become demoralized and find it
hard to keep going in face of increased stress. Making constructive and
encouraging self-statements, on the other hand, can help you achieve your
goals. To overcome self - criticism, see if you can reframe your criticism into
more helpful statements that encourage you, rather than demand that you do
certain things. If your internal critical voice is very powerful, imagine that
it is a parrot sitting in your shoulder that is making this criticism. The way
of dealing this parrot is either to make it fly away or kill it. Silence is the
internal critic.
DON'T BE OVERDEPENDENT ON THE VIEWS OF OTHER
Some individuals, rather than experiencing persistent low
self esteem, say that their self - image varies purely on the basis of the
feedback they get from other people . Fluctuating self-esteem is an damaging as
continuously low self - esteem, as it makes you vulnerable to more extreme mood
swings. While you should not ignore all feedback from other , it is important
to see these comments in context . ask
yourself these question
- on scale 0-100 how sensitive you are to the views of
other
- how critical are others of you
- do you give equal attention to positive and negative
feedback
if you explore your answers to these questions , you may be able
to judge whether you are too vulnerable to other people's opinion,
particularly critical comments . if you are sufficiently clear in your own mind
about your strengths and weakness and your sensitivity to criticism, you will
be better able to evaluate the comments other make about you . Positive feedback
will confirm your good points and negative feedback , although painful to
hear , should not be too much of shock . Remember that it is important to
keep a balanced realistic view . Dont overemphasize positive comments , by all
means be pleased , but keep your feet on the ground . Getting to carried away
could simply set you on the path to a high . don't castastrophize about
negative comments , even if presented in critical way and are difficult to
accept , try to work out what the person is trying to tell you . is there a
grain of truth in their comments that you can learn from ? lastly remember your
reaction to others comment will be largely detached by your automatic
thoughts.
Agree to explore the alternative views eg if yo hold the
belief that " i am unlovable ', rewrite as " i am lovable '.having
reframed the statement thus rate 0-100 scale how strongly you subscribe
to this new beliefs . the likelihood is that you will give this alternative
belief a very low rating . this is understandable for throughout your
whole life so far you have unwillingly collected information to support
your old views . however from today you have to try to collect and record
any piece of information , no matter how small , that supports the new belief .
don't bother with the evidence against your new idea ; you have been attending
to that for years , and could fill a textbook with it .
The whole point is to raise awareness of any information in
the environment that starts to support your alternative belief and also
remember you are not aiming for perfection . it is unlikely that you will feel
100% " i am lovable" however you may conclude that some individuals
find you lovable most of the time . likewise, being totally competent is
unrealistic , try to aim for a acceptable and reasonable level of
competency
