Your Self Esteem

Looking To Your Future 

When you feel down, it is common to have negative automatic thoughts about yourself .However some individual report that they never feel totally at ease with themselves. This is how self esteem or lack of self confidence may be lifelong characteristic, predating any mood swings; or it may have arisen as a consequence of repeated severe mood swings and difficulties in coming to terms with behaviour during these episodes. In reality many individuals mood disorder have a long - standing fragile self esteem that is further undermined by experiencing mood swings. There are number of approaches to overcoming low level self -esteem. 

HELPFUL STRATEGIES 

-To Develop Realistic view yourself

-To reduce your over-dependency on other's opinions

-To try to build a positive self -image 

Try to clarify in your own mind where any negative feelings come from, and how accurate any negative thoughts are, it is helpful to draw up a list of your personal strengths and weakness. Like - What do you like/dislike about yourself?

- What positive/ negative qualities do you possess?

- What do other people like or dislike in other people?

Try to avoid global labels such as “i am a terrible mother” or " I am useless”. Even if you have such negative thoughts try to be specific about why you have made this statement. This means exploring the Evidence 

UNHELPFUL STRATEGIES 

-trying to avoid thinking about what happened 

- trying to externalize the responsibility for the way you feel 

-  trying to convince yourself that being slightly high will overcome your negative view of yourself 

AVOID SELF CRITICISM 

it is helpful to look at how you assess yourself day - day basis . By all means set yourself realistic and acceptable standards, and by all means assess whether you have lived up to your expectation. Try not to be overly self critical as self criticism motivates people. It does the opposite .individuals who constantly find fault with their own actions become demoralized and find it hard to keep going in face of increased stress. Making constructive and encouraging self-statements, on the other hand, can help you achieve your goals. To overcome self - criticism, see if you can reframe your criticism into more helpful statements that encourage you, rather than demand that you do certain things. If your internal critical voice is very powerful, imagine that it is a parrot sitting in your shoulder that is making this criticism. The way of dealing this parrot is either to make it fly away or kill it. Silence is the internal critic. 

 DON'T BE OVERDEPENDENT ON THE VIEWS OF OTHER 

  Some individuals, rather than experiencing persistent low self esteem, say that their self - image varies purely on the basis of the feedback they get from other people . Fluctuating self-esteem is an damaging as continuously low self - esteem, as it makes you vulnerable to more extreme mood swings. While you should not ignore all feedback from other , it is important to see these comments in context . ask yourself these  question 

- on scale 0-100 how sensitive you are  to the views of other 

- how critical are others of you 

- do you give equal attention to positive and negative feedback 

if you explore your answers to these questions , you may be able to judge whether you are too vulnerable  to other people's opinion, particularly critical comments . if you are sufficiently clear in your own mind about your strengths and weakness and your sensitivity to criticism, you will be better able to evaluate the comments other make about you . Positive feedback will confirm  your good points and negative feedback , although painful to hear , should not be too much of shock . Remember that it is important  to keep a balanced realistic view . Dont overemphasize positive comments , by all means be pleased , but keep your feet on the ground . Getting to carried away could simply set you on the path to  a high . don't castastrophize about negative comments , even if presented in critical way and are difficult to accept , try to work out what the person is trying to tell you . is there a grain of truth in their comments that you can learn from ? lastly remember your reaction to others comment will be largely detached by your automatic thoughts. 

Agree to explore the alternative views  eg if yo hold the belief that " i am unlovable ', rewrite as " i am lovable '.having  reframed the statement thus rate 0-100 scale how strongly you subscribe to this new beliefs . the likelihood is that you will give this alternative belief a very low rating . this is understandable  for throughout your whole life so far you have unwillingly collected information  to support your old views . however from today you have to  try to collect and record any piece of information , no matter how small , that supports the new belief . don't bother with the evidence against your new idea ; you have been attending to that for years , and could fill a textbook with it . 

The whole point is to  raise awareness of any information in the environment that starts to support your alternative belief and also remember you are not aiming for perfection . it is unlikely that you will feel 100% " i am lovable" however you may conclude that some individuals find you lovable most of the time . likewise, being totally competent is unrealistic , try to aim for a acceptable and reasonable level of competency