Thursday 31 October 2013


The word love is defined as subjective, intangible, and indefinable, perhaps love is too vague and by few it is defined in terms of drier concepts, such as reward, sexual attraction, mate choice or parental cooperation. Love is not invented by nature in an act of charity to the human race. Well the subjective feeling of love was evolved to bring sexual partners together and keep them together. long term maintenance of sexual partnership occurs in every vertebrate species, and thus a term used to define this is “pair-bonding ‘.Pair-Bonding is not simply a drive for continual sexual activity, instead it is thought that pair-bonding is mating strategy that encourages parental cooperation to raise successful offspring .pair-bonded species tend to produce immature offspring’s that need a lot of care. Pair-bonding species are often social, and pair-bonding may be especially conductive to social development of offspring’s. What is Romantic love?
Romantic love is a mechanism that helps human raise slow growing, socially blooming children’s ,now this is one reason  why  a person does  not fall in love before becoming fertile, there is no need for romantic love before puberty . Before puberty, children experiment sexually and they also toy with the idea of romantic infatuation. As soon as teenagers become aware of the phenomena, they realize there is an uneasy inconsistency between them which society often does not want them to investigate .Love and sex is not the same but they do overlap more during the teenage years than in adulthood. During adolescence they learn the difference between sex and love .the realization for sex and love comes sooner in boys than in girls .Teenage boys learns to get the fixes of love and sex by interacting with their partners in different ways like looking at their partners body to derive sexual pleasure and then looking at their face to experience the feeling of love. Male sexual and romantic behaviour often continues in this alternating body/face manner throughout life, and you can tell that this is even one of the reason means alarming ability to separate love and sex. humans are unpredictable creatures, similarly girls  learn to enjoy and toy with discrepancies between sex and love albeit in a more subtle way .For example  they sometimes initiate romantic contact wishing to enter a loving mental communion and at other times they wish to be used as a physical  sexual target by their partner.
Thus we can observe that teenagers face the daunting challenge of developing their sense of romantic etiquette which comprises of powerful mix of devotion, coercion, acceptance, shyness, pleasure, fear and humour. Thus facing opposite Interaction in teenage years are very common phenomena. But this topic of Love does not end here, Love is a felling which is unlimited ,it makes possible to temporarily forget the terrible facts of our own morality and thus a question to everyone” Is the love faced By TEENAGERS AND ADULTS ARE DIFFERENT “?
Well we will find answer to this question in latter articles .SO keep in touch with this site and enjoy reading.

Tuesday 22 October 2013

Y Teenagers are more attached to Friends Than Parents

Teenage Friendship
  Girls, who develop their mental abilities more quickly, may therefore find their aspirations frustrated throughout their adolescent years. Maybe this explains why teenage girls often emotionally distance themselves from their parents more actively than boys do. At the same time that teenagers are rejecting their parents they are also undergoing a second profound social upheaval; they are becoming more attached to their friends .The Human habit of seeking out others of similar age(and usually sex ) for protracted discussion and rumination is unique. Indeed, many teenagers report that they are happiest when chatting to their friends. Also many of the misdemeanours perpetrated by teenagers are explained as a result of peer pressure .Indeed, many teenagers say that their friend is someone who will support them in times of need.
Another possibility of teenage friendships is that they are learning experience. Thus adolescent friendship could be viewed as a way to practice social skills in a relatively risk-free environment. Nest theory of Teenage friendship is that it supports our sense of self. By engaging with other teenagers, we learn that society accepts us, even validates us, and that as a result we have some social value. As we know that how self –esteem is enormously important to normal psychological development and that having a place in a group of friends-a sense that one is, to some extent, irreplaceable-is crucial in developing self-esteem. Having a nucleus of good friends has been strongly linked to happiness, and some psychologists have even suggested that there is an optimum number of friends for teenage mental health. Friendship is central to teenage development and the urge to avoid loneliness is incredibly strong. Teenagare’s value the triad of reciprocal to the social learning and self –esteem so much that studies show that they instinctively evaluate  other teenagers for the three corresponding outward signs of common interests, mutual understanding and positive communication.
Appearance is important to them, and one way they register their social position is by fashion. Obviously teenagers select their clothing and accessories to make themselves look attractive to competitors and suitors, but there is much more to it than that. After all, teenage girls do not all wear “cute” clothes and teenage boys do not all wear “macho” ones. Instead they choose clothes they think say something about themselves, be it their membership of a social group, their ability to keep up with the times, or some selected aspect of their individuality. One example of this is piercings, a form of self-mutilation presumably intended to convey a certain social spikiness, as well as a refusal to conform. Another is the enduring appeal of the Coth,a fashion for dark clothes ,pale skin and striking makeup that has lasted , with a few changes in terminology, for a quarter  of a century-a veritable eternity in the world of teenage fashion.
The formation of gangs is often viewed a s a more alarming aspect of the adolescent drive for inclusion in peer groups. Yet aggregating into exclusive social groups is an almost unavoidable part of growing up. As an adult it is easy to ignore the fact that for much of the time, there simply is not very much for teenagers to do with their leisure time. Groups of teenagers have to hang around on street corners and in parks: they are drawn to be with their friends, they are barred from places where alcohol is served, and the last place they want to be is in the parental home. After all, that would be too much like children going round to each others houses’ to play”. Similar trend is seen in the fragmented and slightly marginal groups of Juveniles who mope around the periphery of many primate communities. But we can’t deny the fact that humans operate in social groups, and sometimes they do the wrong things. Unfortunately ,when the world outside becomes a dangerous place, we often react by becoming ever more dependent on our social group for protection-in the process becoming more susceptible to being part of the mob.
Central importance to Teenage friendship, it can be very different phenomenon in girls and boys..On average girls are much more open with their friends, and share more intimate details of their own emotions  and biology than boys, as their friends know so many of their embarrassing secrets, trust often becomes extremely important in female teenage friendships. Loss of friends can be a stressful and frightening experience for a girl, and is often viewed as a betrayal. Conversely boys seem less open and emotional with their friends, and their conversations often focus on shared interests, such as sports, music, or the more superficial aspects of female attractiveness. After all friendship is all about getting inside other peoples head and letting them inside yours, and just because boys do this more  obliquely than girls does not  mean  that their feelings are any less strong  or warm. Well friends can also be the major cause of anxiety for teenagers. Lack of friends can be devastating, leading to anxiety, low –esteem and depression. Also as breaking up with friends can be a bitter blow, and especially worrying for girls. The phenomena of loss and loneliness affect teenagers so badly because they often see them as reflections upon themselves-implying that they cannot acquire or retain friends because there is something wrong with them. Adults who have more of a “track records” of good friends in the past, can view upheavals in their friendship with a  ore related attitude.
Another social upheaval which teenagers must deal and that is competitiveness. Human teenage hierarchies are fluid, with individuals clambering their way up and slipping down, and they are also divisive, because teenagers compete with friends and non-friends alike. Friends can tacitly ”negotiate” some sort of rapprochement whereby they stop competing directly, but even this is illusory, as two friends usually still have to stake their claims to places in same hierarchy. Even adults have dominance hierarchies too, but as they are more long-standing, and the individuals in them are undergoing less physical, mental and social flux, they tend to be more stable-less clambering and slipping means less anxiety. Boy become more overly competitive in their early teenage years ,and initially their status depends on physical strength and skills, and to some extend their social skills and looks .moving up and down the hierarchy depends on clear-cut  episodes of success or failures in various physical activities. High status does not necessarily require leadership abilities, and often it is boys slightly lower down pecking order who takes the initiative. Boys intelligence appears to have little effect on their position in their hierarchy .Girls are complex, implicit and stressful hierarchies. Girls assert their status by criticism and ridicule and shunning targeted individuals.

Well I would say that Humans certainly look different from each other, so its obvious that we are mentally, emotionally, and socially different too. Celebrating diversity is all very good, but it is the teenagers who face the awful task of working out where they fit into the sea of human social variations. 

Saturday 19 October 2013

Y 2 Worry???

Why Everyone Worries?
Everyone worries , even the teenagers , and the thing that worries them most is their relationship with other people .Their newly elevated level of consciousness and social self awareness means that there are more potential mistakes to worry about making .so once teenagers have established a coherent relationship with themselves and the world around them ,they face the greatest challenge of all-to develop relationships with other people .According to research one-fifth of teenagers may show signs of extreme anxiety-phobias of social situations, agoraphobia, panic attacks , fear of situation that involve scrutiny by others. Social worries usually also feed into a diminishing sense of self –esteem. Some teenagers especially girls, resort to self-harm-cutting, poisoning- to help them gain some sort of control over their emotions, and perhaps one in twenty of these will attempt suicide. There are also clear links between anxiety and other mental illness, including depression and schizophrenia.
From the social point of view, being anxious about other people is eminently sensible-we all have to consider how others see us, and also bear in mind that some people may be out to get the better of us. Anxiety can obviously be useful, but why does it sometimes get out of hand in teenagers? The reason to this question is due to stress .Stress in teenagers is often due to their social relationship, stress can also be caused by non-social cues. This type of stress stimulates the risk of bodily harm, pain, or the presence of predators, than it is to stimulate a socially embarrassing situation. These bodily effects of stress can be the most inexpicable, uncontrollable and frightening reactions to cope with. Stress and anxiety cause the release of noradrenalin and adrenaline throughout the body, either from nerve ending or the adrenal glands, they cause the symptoms of panic, which may become so severe that people worry that they are having heart attack. Anxiety is a crucial protective response, teenagers brains are wired up to learn to respond to new worrying situations. The simplest example of this is phobias, in which children’s start to associate extreme fear with something like spiders or enclosed spaces. Later on just the suggestion of an arachind or a small room can trigger the full dry mouth, pounding heart stress experience. Panic attacks are an especially dramatic example of learned stress responses. Teenagers are always learning responses to things in the outside world, and this drive to learn comes to dominate their psychology. Stressful early life has been shown to be linked to increased anxiety responses in early life. We start to learn stress responses to all sorts of things during our adolescent years, sometimes becoming increasingly anxious when we meet someone of opposite sex, or when we fall behind in our work, or when we sense social embarrassment.                      
The first great teenage social upheaval is their relationship with their parent’s changes. During the early teenage years parents change from being the central force in our lives to being far more peripheral. The most basic ,genetic explanation for this-separation from parents prevents incest when offspring reach puberty, teenagers do not just ‘drift away’, but undergo an active process of rejection of their  parents which is probably essential for their development as individuals. They become naturally defensive, aggressive and often downright unpleasant in their dealings with their parents-as do many other javelin primates ;)

Thus worries are part of life , and it increases when we think unnecessary things a lot , and think about something which is not possible to take place in real life and take things very seriously , when we start taking every small things seriously  we think a lot and get worried and when it does not happen in reality we become aggressive and impulsive , thus it’s better to accept things the ay it comes in your life and think limited , the more you think , more aggressive you become and spoil each and every  moment of life , so the best way to keep your mind free of tension is to stay calm , not think about what is gone , live in present  and keep smiling even if you have lost something .laughing brings positive energy in your life .